(happy/sad/scared/anxious/excited)

Bye Dallas!

On Thursday I bid farewell to the only state I’ve called home for my entire life.

I thought I’d be a sobbing mess the entire week, but I only cried and had an panic attack once, so I thought, “Awesome. I can do this.” Even when the day came (at 3:00 in the ungodly morning) I was like, “OK, cool, got this.”

I met up with boo, Whataburger, for a quick breakfast and took some keepsakes to remember our journey--packages of ketchup, obviously, as there isn’t one where I am (sings Nothing Compares 2 U) then headed off, leaving my home, my comfort zone and venturing to a new chapter in my life.

It’s exciting to start over for the most part. God knows after the past two years a reset is much needed.

But it also one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. The furthest I’d ever been from home was college, in the same state, and I could always come back home.

But this time, there’s no home to come back to. I have to make my own. I really have no choice.

“So what are you going to do?”

I don’t know! I don’t know! I don’t know! I have a few ideas but I don’t have a concrete plan and that is scary as hell.

I'm not a "floater." I'm not that person who says, "Life is short. Use your money to travel and see the world." I wish I could, but I have a business. I have bills. I can't just be a wanderer--but that's cute.

So if that's not me, why would I do this without a plan?

There wasn’t time to make one and I knew the opportunity wouldn’t last if I said no then changed my mind. So I had to say yes.

Not that there was a gun to my head, but if I were to say no, what would have been the option? Plus, jumping into the unknown is fun and challenging, right?

I'm going to Yale! OK, no but there's Yale.

So here I am, happysadscaredanxiousexcited at all once.
Pumped about the possibilities.
Sad about the realization there isn’t a safety net anymore.
Overwhelmed about what’s going to happen in 30 days.
Obsessed with coming up a plan that has to work
Excited that there really is a world of opportunity to take advantage of once I get over that freakin fear of failing.

Bonus: I had my first, "We're not in the South anymore," moment when trying to order sweet tea and the guy looked at me like I lost all of my mind. No sir, you're the one who doesn't understand the goodness of sweet tea. Bless your heart.

Until next time,
C